I definitely wish food poisoning involved hallucinating about space bunnies instead of gushing liquid out of your face and ass.
Moreover, I wish this mayo myth would go away. It’s the food safety equivalent of the boiled frog metaphor. While homemade mayonnaise can be very risky business, jarred mayonnaise isn’t. It doesn’t even need to be refrigerated after opening. Well, to clarify, you should definitely refrigerate it unless you like it really funky and chunky, but it has nothing to do with making you sick.
But wait, it gets better. Commercial mayo is actually protective. It kills bacteria. It is made from pasteurized eggs and has been formulated with enough vinegar, salt, and preservatives to make it a poor environment for pathogens. As proven by science, SCIENCE!
What this means is that when you take foods that are actually pretty high-risk, like chicken or ham or potatoes, and mix them with commercial mayo, you might actually be making those foods safer. When people get sick from deli-type salads nowadays it is usually either because it was made with homemade mayo or because one of the other ingredients was contaminated.